Hey, I just wrote you … and this is ccrraaazzzyy … but here’s my brain … have a story maybe …
So I haven’t been the most productive with my writing lately. Honestly, I’ve been in a bit of a funk. My first submission with Pubslush didn’t go as well as I’d hoped, and then I got another couple of rejections right after that, and my brain just couldn’t take it. The writer depression kicked in and I just have spent a lot of time staring at my computer screen, wishing to god that I had the energy to actually write.
But the thing is, I am writing. I think every writer has a fallback when things aren’t going quite like we want them to. For me, it’s all about the character journals. Be it fanfic or original, it’s all about the character journals. At least when I’m character journaling (or roleplaying with those characters) I can justify it as writing and development. I even have one character who started off as a fic character but has developed a life of her own and now I am working her life into something original. When she’s loud, I can crank out 1500 words in less than 30 minutes.
Last year, when I accepted my award for Shadows in the Spotlight, I got talking to another writer who asked if I write efficiently. At the time, my answer was “it depends.” Right now I can honestly say the answer is no. But I think that’s okay. It’s okay because I can acknowledge why I’ve felt like I’m drifting and I can find a way to focus my writing into something efficient. The excuses are so easy – I’m exhausted at the end of the day, I’ve been having a social life lately, I’m just not inspired, the house is too much of a mess … but honestly, I’ve got this mixture of writer ADD and writer depression and I have to push through it the best that I can. (And push through it without eating everything in the house.)
Because you see, the ideas are there. There’s the story about the ball player who seemed to come from a world with everything but his home was as broken as that kid who embodies the rags to riches story. There’s the whole series about the US Marshals in desert Southwest. Liz and Gen and Max and Heather and Magda and Bethy. There’s even the “meet you in the next life” story I’m toying with, but I’m not sure if it will go anywhere. And of course there’s the one that has been bugging and pestering me for years. It wants attention again.
The writer brain is made of Swiss cheese and it’s been chewed on by plot bunnies. Mine especially. So here I sit, feeling crazy, hoping I can channel some of my character journaling into something productive tonight, and wishing that Coffee Break didn’t make you buy something every two hours to stay on the internet.