Why I am NOT going to my High School Reunion
This was a hard decision for me. I mean come on, one of my favorite episodes of The West Wing is the one where CJ goes back to her high school reunion. How awesome. But, see, I’m not the Press Secretary for the President of the United States. Yes, there was a part of me that wanted to saunter into dinner and show off how awesome I am despite dropping out of college. I wanted to brag about my first book and how it won awards (even though it isn’t published yet.) And how I’m working on others, how I started a group in the state to help the bisexual community, how I’m the moderator of the Salt Lake City Writer’s Group, and how there are people in the legislature who know my name.
But the more I started thinking about it, the more I realized I had no desire to pay to spend time with these people. See, high school wasn’t the best time of my life. My skin started to break out, I was struggling with accepting my sexuality, I was breaking free of the political bullshit my friends cared about, I had body image issues, I really could be kind of a bitch, and all I wanted to do was to get the fuck out of Utah and go to Europe for a year. Instead, I went to Texas.
Let’s be honest, all of the drivel that will get discussed at the KHS reunion I can see on Facebook. Because of Facebook, I know how many kids you have, what you are doing with your life, your favorite quotes about kids, how you skipped church to go to the Zoo, how you think Planned Parenthood is destroying the country, how Young Women’s is better for your daughters than the Girl Scouts, that you think Barack Obama is a socialist, and that you will delete comments that challenge your carefully constructed political bubble.
For the people who I actually would love to see again, again I have Facebook. So I have already seen you, chatted over coffee, smacked your ass at a gay club, congratulated you on finishing law school, and celebrated you going back to get your master’s degree. And, again, I will get nothing out of going to a reunion except paying to see you.
My senior quote was “I came, I saw, and you know what, I’m not coming back.” I did go back. Like most college freshmen I went to wander the halls of my high school, hoping for a teacher to remember me. That was 15 years ago. I don’t need that now. I don’t need to be surrounded by people who didn’t really like me that much in the first place. So why pay to walk back down that path? To go back to a time when all I wanted to do was escape the mountains and the pressure of the Mormon church. 15 years ago, I was told over and over again (in subtle terms of course) that who I was wasn’t good enough. I was Catholic, I didn’t think that being gay was a bad thing, and I believed that trying to convert people was stupid. The reason I didn’t like you wasn’t because you were Mormon and I wasn’t, it was because you were an asshole. I wanted to get away from everyone who thought the end all, be all of a woman’s life was to get married and have kids.
Yeah, I’m sure we’ve all changed. I’m out now. Out and proud and fighting my own battles within the queer community. I’m no longer Catholic and I no longer rail blindly. When I rail, it’s with facts behind me. I don’t have the patience for lock step stupidity.
But, from everything I’ve seen of the people from my high school class who I have friended on Facebook, the conversation at our reunion won’t be anything I actually want to engage in. Maybe I’m wrong, but I doubt it. And, if I really wanted to get together with these people, why subject myself to a huge dinner party when I can sit down one-on-one over coffee and save myself fifty bucks?
Meanwhile? Go Cougars!