I’m happier than I’m coming across. I promise.

I should be crying. I should be celebrating. I should be shouting from the rooftops. I’m not.

Okay, I am. The more I wake up, the more it sinks in. As of today, I could go grab my girlfriend, go to the courthouse, get married, move to New Mexico, and our marriage would still be recognized. As someone who doesn’t believe in the institution of marriage (despite how often I write about it in my stories), I’d never do it. But believe me when I say that I’m celebrating for those who now choose to participate. I am applauding and crying and laughing – all internally. I am so happy that the Supreme Court finally ruled the way civil rights attorneys have been talking for decades – that the 14th Amendment covers the Queers too.

But when I checked facebook this morning, my feed way gayer than it had ever been. Rainbows EVERYWHERE. A plethora of rainbows. Rainbows rainbows rainbows. And it should have been. It should be. It should be full of what it is, quotes from the ruling, and people singing that love has won out, and now we don’t have to use stupid terms like “opposite sex marriage” because marriage is fucking marriage and it doesn’t matter who you are.

I just wish it wasn’t the end all, be all for the queer community. I wish that we were rallying behind our Trans* sisters who are languishing in detention centers, our family who is being murdered, our children who are being bullied, our communities that are being erased. While we’ve been fighting for MARRIAGE OH MY GOD MARRIAGE around the country, Planned Parenthood Centers are closing and abortion rights are being rolled back and despite the ACA it’s harder than ever for some women to get birth control. There is still a wage gap. Churches are burning. Police are killing young black men and women. Indigenous women are disappearing and no one is talking about it. Today a pastor is laid to rest because a young racist man decided to open fire in a church. Queer People of Color are still not safe to come out in many communities. STD rates are rising. Children as young as 12 are committing suicide. Trans* and Sexually Fluid people are still being erased from even the President’s Comments about today’s historic ruling.

When you think about it, the fight just to level the playing field seems so overwhelming. So of course we want to celebrate every fucking victory. Without these victories, nothing seems to matter. Nothing. Without these victories, it’s hopeless. So you bet I’m so thrilled. I really am. I’m also just so fucking exhausted. Because in his victory tweet, even the President singled out gays and lesbians. Hey guy, we’re over here too.

Today I say FUCK YES to the Judges who ruled in favor of, you know, legality. I say HAPPY MARRIAGE or HAPPY ENGAGEMENT to the people who are racing off to FINALLY make those unions legal. I say SCREW YOU to the assholes who want to hold us back (light myself on fire guy? where are you now?) And I say okay, we got this done …

What’s next, Queer America? Cause we sure as HELL ain’t done.