And the days tick on …

Day … 3?

I slept today. Fuck, the Trump Administration hasn’t even officially taken office and all I could do today was sleep. I feel like I should get out my journal and write this there, but I promised myself I’d be productive and my level of productivity was unloading the cups from the dishwasher. I did start it and put pillows on the couch and I slept. God did I sleep. Sorry, Bruce. I didn’t finish the coffee today.

I guess I needed to.

I’ve spent the last few days in this haze. Social media meltdowns at midnight, ranting and rambling (at least it’s coherent) and challenging people on everything from protest to you know, racism. I told someone last night that they actually terrify me. He is so anti-Muslim … and he’s an ordained minister … and serves in the military … and all I can think is “this is the person we send to the Middle East?”

After one of my naps today, I woke up to 35 notifications and at that point it all became friends only on facebook. Yes, that is my confession. I could only handle the pressure for about 2 days. I’m not meant to be a politician, I’m not meant to melt down outside of my bubble. My echo chamber.

This is my public platform. It has to be. For the 5 people who read it, right? Because I’m so incapable of keeping up a normal routine. At some point I need to figure out how to make this something more than my mouthing off at the world every few months – in between album reviews.

But I need social media to be a reasonably safe space. I can ignore twitter haters but facebook needs to be that place where I find some sense of sanity. Because there are people there who are so much smarter than me – whether they are more moderate and have differing worldviews that I need to embrace or they are so to the left of me that I look conservative – I need their strength and support. And their cat photos.

I need to not get bogged down in screaming into the winds when dear friends are posting tearful videos about how they are scared of being homeless and having their heath care taken away.

Politics is about more than group think. It’s about the personal. And I take it personally that our new President Elect whines about protesters but he won’t denounce the KKK rally in his name. He shook the hand of the first black president while accepting the endorsement of an organization that wants him dead.

I take that personally.

I had a very smart poli-sci professor explain the world once, and it’s stuck with me. Keep in mind this man was an admitted libertarian – socially moderate, fiscally conservative. And he explained that when politicians want to run the government like a business, you shouldn’t take them seriously. Because you might want a smaller government, but you can never want it to be run like a company board room. That takes away the checks and balances that our founders put into place. Government isn’t supposed to be efficient.

It also isn’t supposed to have messiahs.

To a conservative base, one who feels economically disenfranchised in a global economy (and we have one and we gotta deal with it), I can see why a businessman like Trump would make some kind of sense. Not only does he understand the money stuff, but he’s not afraid to call out the other. It wraps it all into a ball of fear and says “I’ll fix it! I’ll raise your paychecks! Don’t worry.”

I often felt like Bernie was that as well to the left. There were so many promises and yes, yes, yes, he had plans on how to make these promises a reality, but it felt like if he didn’t do it all on day 1, well, riots.

I’m not saying Hillary was a perfect candidate. In fact, many of my friends were incredibly surprised when I came around to supporting her. I wasn’t supporting Bernie completely either. But I’ve always been critical of her. And, looking at life under day 3 of Trump’s America, I feel like I was critical of her because it was safe to be. Because I knew she’d let me be.  And not only would she let me be, but so would her supporters.

See, here’s the thing:

I want a viable, multi-party system. I want these other candidates to show up during the mid-terms, not just when we’re running a presidential election. I want the Legislative Branch to once again be the most powerful form of government. I want the presidency to stop being a reality TV show.

I want Jill Stein to show up tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow. I want Evan McMullin to run for congress. I want Gary Johnson to keep talking. I want new parties to rise. I don’t have to agree with all of them. But I want them to rise. This true blue democrat wants her own party to be fixed. I want neoliberalism to stop being a safe haven for white saviors who think donating to UNICEF is how we fix the world. I want Rachel Maddow to run for office. I want Elizabeth Warren to meet with the Water Protectors in North Dakota.I want Tammy Duckworth to be President and I want Kate Brown in the Senate and I want Ilhan Omar to be President and I want so much more than what my country is giving me. 

I’d also like open borders, RBG to live forever, and a pony. But hey.

We’re in it now, guys. This global economy is a thing and to pretend it isn’t is stupid. We need programs to support our returning troops and to forgive student loan debt and we do that by raising taxes on the richest of us and accepting that Ronald Reagan was in fact not some financial saint and populist just because he was also an actor.

We’re in it. We “liberals” have to face our problems and accept our leaders are problematic. And for the love of anything in the Universe, we need to step in front of those who would harm us as a global community. We need to be real about our presence in NATO, we need to have honest conversations about what it means to be for human rights, and we need to sit down across the table from those who are truly scared of the other, and ask …


This election is about more than what’s going on around us right now. It’s about more than my checking my car for vandalism and my not wanting my girlfriend taking the train home at night. This election is a reckoning.

The joke was that this election was the series finale of America. It’s not a joke.

The show is over, folks.

So the question is, will the spinoff be anything worth watching?

About vegawriters

Writer. Metalhead. Pitbull Mom. Geek. Bisexual. Poly. Activist.

Posted on November 11, 2016, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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